She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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