We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
