My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
