I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize