I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
