How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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