why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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