Its about making memories worth repressing
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
