you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
