i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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