she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
