"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
