so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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