Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The air was thick with penises
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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