Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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