Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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