i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
