That's when you crack a 10am beer
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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