TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
