My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
