i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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