i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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