everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
