i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
