connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
