My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
