I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
