so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
