he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
