i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize