i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
