My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
