You're my little dorito
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
