So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
