I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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