Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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