if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize