how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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