I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
