We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
