are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
