You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
