It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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