I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ketchup is God's man juice
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
