i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I could fuck to npr.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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