Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
