I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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