is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I want to have your abortion
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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