THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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