It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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