Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
