can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
