I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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