I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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