The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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