she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
