I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
