I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
high people should be assigned attendants
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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