just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
