it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize