absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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