I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
