we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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