Where is the hickey?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
