one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
