I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
