I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize