Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
